How to network with Partners that have a “Frat-Bro” energy, jokery and sarcastic? Context: Im female, in my 20s, minority, not used to his style. Looking for some practical advice.

likefunny
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Honestly 90% of white men I've met here give that frat bro vibe. I just try to bro with them honestly. It's usually perceived well. I also don't try to pretend to be interested in things I'm not after having a rapport with somebody. I'm just as content to listen to conversations that I don't have much to contribute to. Obviously not a great tactic for the beginning, but something that I build to and matches my personality.

likehelpful

Love when bro is used as a verb

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I’ve always found the best way is to just jump in and start connecting. Ask them questions about themselves, get them to tell stories. Try to connect with (healthy) humor - often “frat bro” vibe is just what we label it from the outside when we don’t feel included. Get to know them, and you may finds it’s just humor. People like to laugh.

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Every time you talk to him is another chance to connect. It’s never a one and done. Keep chatting. Keep asking questions. Keep checking in and being social and friendly. Remember that 90% of what we think are bad vibes are actually just stories we’re telling ourselves. Be genuine, be relaxed, and keep connecting. Relationships are the lifeblood of not just our business, but life! This is a great practice run!

likesmart
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Update: i just did it. Just walked up to him and talked.

likesmart

Wheel, snipe, fuckin celly

likehelpful

Use different forms of bro to address him e.g. Brohammad Ali, Broprah Winfrey, Brotein Shake, Broseph Stalin.

likeupliftinghelpful

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. That’s why to married partners, I only want to mention “brotein shake” like D3 suggested.

Doing great work often gets the conversation going. I have nothing in common with middle-aged white men who have 3 kids or a on their third marriage, but I’m always able to get them to look at me because of the quality of my work... Hispanic Male (Immigrant).

I can’t speak as a woman, but I’ve worked with some impressive women. After seeing them in action and watching them rise through the ranks, I’d say apart from doing great work, Partners have been impressed by their ability to outsmart every male in the room.

Also, nothing more satisfying than seeing all the frat bros looking at each other in disbelief that they don’t have the best idea, reasoning, plan, etc.

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Yeah. Agree. My question was more about networking at an event where he wouldnt know anything about you or your work though.

Right..... but doing great work does not necessitate networking... listening and speaking are avenues of networking, doing great work enhances the likelihood that someone would want to network with you.

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Draw analogies/comparisons to your own experience in order to create common ground.

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That’s helpful. I used a bit of that

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See? Not hard! Good for you!

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Thank you!

What firms have all the frat bros? I need to go over there. I’d have more fun. 😂 source: was a fraternity man in college, miss the comraderie as opposed to sneaky backdealing.

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I worked for PDubs and I’m now at EY. I’d say PwC is more bro friendly.

As a young female who’s worked as a SWE and Tech Consultant (IE: a LOT of male coworkers), I think the most important thing is to try to get them (and this goes for really anyone you meet in life) to talk about themselves and you’d be surprised how many things you’ll be able to connect on and talk about further. Also, I find it broadens your mindset and lets you learn a little about cool stuff that isn’t typically the topic of female work communication like professional sports and marvel movies. Hope it works out well for you! :)

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Update again: I dont know whether I’m in my head or not. I felt like he kinda cut the meeting short (I almost felt like he wanted me out of the way) and he is more on the cold demeanor side compared to other Partners I have met with. Other Partners & Principals I’ve met with are warm and friendly towards me (some are even more like “fatherly” and “motherly” figures) and they are all willing to spend more than 1 hour of their super busy schedule just to get to know me and help guide me. So I dont know whether I did something wrong with this 1 Partner here or is this just how he is and I just need to roll with it. 🤔

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Honestly at this point the best thing to work on is the skills you used today, and patience... be patient with building a solid foundation, talk to more ppl and shit, listen, listen, and then ask questions... as you do this more you’ll get more experience and more importantly confidence.


What you’re most likely facing is a crisis of confidence, not skill... keep at it homegirl - and good fuckin job for recognizing you can work on this and doing it right away 👍👊

What is frat bro energy. Can you give some specific examples?

Just bro out with us. Talk about how much you live Miller lite, challenge people to drinking competitions, say some nsfw jokes, and say dude a lot

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