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Chief
You are so thoughtful and kind for thinking about how this will impact this child! I am not a stepparent but I am the child of divorced parents, both of whom remarried in my teens. The biggest pieces of advice I can give are: go slow, put her needs first always, respect the relationship she has with her father and never be threatened by it, and go in with the intention of giving nothing less than your unconditional love and commitment to both her and her dad.
And don’t be threatened or scared or wavered by the highs and lows of teenage girls. She may “hate you” on some days. That’s normal.....
You’re doing great!
Birth mom is not in the picture at all now. There is an ex, so ex step mom. Both of these women of not stuck by this girl. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to approach a relationship with her given that.
My bf and I have been together a year, a couple "family" vacations, we did parts of the holiday together. We would like to be together, talked about having a baby, but need to take all of these next steps very carefully and seriously. So for example, while I would like to live with him, I kind of feel like we have to get married. But we would buy a house together (both of our places are small). So I think about all the things we have to do to get settled, it's kind of overwhelming!
So no clear question - just, any advice or stories of how folks started to "blend" a family?
Just DMed you