If you can say Charlize Theron, Joaquin Phoenix, Matthew McConaughey, and Kayleigh McEnany, you can pronounce “ethnic” names. Yes, your brain can actually help your mouth do this! Failing that, ask the person WITHOUT making it awkward by smirking or laughing.

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I have a long “ethnic” name that looks confusing on paper. I don’t mind mispronunciations or attempts or questions on how to pronounce!

The thing that pisses me off is automatically giving me a nick name without even trying or asking if I have one.

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My name is hard to pronounce (and everyone in English pronounces my first name wrong)
I don’t think it’s xenophobic, it’s just indeed hard to pronounce for them.
I embrace that difference, and this has created amazing conversation starters!

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Not trying to be a d*ck but I don’t know how to pronounce half of those names. Also don’t know what xenophobic means. Wouldn’t read into these things nor get offended about them... all in all this is just a very strange post. If you need more things to worry about in your life, I can send some your way.

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But it's completely different when someone (Englihs-speaking) mispronounces Ian or Ava, right?

Referring to someone’s name as uncommon because YOU haven’t heard it much is rather ignorant. Especially if it is a Euro-centric name, because by world demographics alone, many names we ignorantly call “uncommmon” are very popular throughout Asia, Africa and Latin America.
I often pay close attention to how people introduce themselves, or just ask for proper pronunciation anyway, because even names like Anna and Caroline can be said differently (I have friends who are A-nuh and who are Ah-nuh, and know both a CaroLINE and CaroLINN).
I say don’t comment on a name’s “normalcy” but just confirm you would like to properly say one’s name.

likesmart

Agreed

We learn to pronounce difficult famous person names after hearing them often enough. The same becomes true over time when you have a friend / colleague with an “ethnic” name. A little grace from all sides helps! OP, I like your suggestion of how to ask for pronunciation guidance.

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D3 I appreciate your comment.

I feel compelled to share that there are certain people (tell me if I need to elaborate) who have been extending grace for a long time. You get that, right?

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Agree with the approach to not making it awkward but doesn’t saying you don’t want to mispronounce someone’s name automatically “imply that their name is hard to say”? Maybe hard to say is the wrong description, more like it takes more effort to say properly because you’ve never heard it before, especially If it uses non common letter combinations? But what’s the issue being described here, people with uncommon US names getting comments about how unusual their names are or making xenophobic comments? Just haven’t heard people say xenophobic things around people’s names that I realized so it’s hard to relate to this. Asking people not to be weird in uncommon situations...seems like it’s not as easy to do that as this post implies.

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I think commenting on the name being uncommon/difficult is rude and sometimes xenophobic. Many times the names aren’t difficult to say, they’re just not familiar and cause internal discomfort, which is different. As a person with a short “ethnic” name, most people ask if they’ve said it correctly, I correct them if not, and we move on. I have asked people from other cultures to say their names again so I don’t mispronounce. It shouldn’t be an uncomfortable question because you’re seeking to be respectful.

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I was just thinking the other day that people have no problem with pronouncing the soft “K” in “Khaleesi” a completely fictional character but somehow Khan or Khadijah end up sounding like “Kawn” and “Kadijah” it’s a bit insulting when we give more respect to the pronunciation of fictional names than of real names.

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Another truth bomb 💥

Mispronouncing someones name isn’t xenophobic.
Jesus, when will this crap end?

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Just experience C2. And I thought we were now making assumptions. My first response said "anyone" and you took that as you. Then you said "you clearly are..." Anyway, you're just using political pop culture ie "safe space" "therapy puppy" "FB meme" as your main response to me. 🥱. Goodnight FB friend.

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As someone with a name that can be difficult to pronounce I make sure to say my name clearly multiple times when first meeting someone. If it’s a name that’s not native to their dialect I don’t blame them at all for not getting it upfront... that’s childish.

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